Drag Me To Hell (2009) - Perhaps Sam Raimi’s intention was to make a mainstream B horror/gore film and showcase all the tricks he believes he still has. I found none of this worked for me. It’s not dark or absurd or original or clever or funny, and there is no psyhological angle or clever twist. It’s a collection of cheap devices, largely relying on sound FX alone, moving at a dragging pace to nowhere. Avoid

Food Inc. (2008) - Perhaps the most unfortunate after-effect of the Michael Moore era of mainstreaming the documentary has been the lack of serious unbiased debate about issues. The corporatisation of the food supply is a great target for discussion, but instead the filmmakers here attacked the subject with a scattershot collection of fears and anti-capitalist rhetoric without any rebuttal. So we end up with a film made by food radicals trying to push an idealist agenda which ultimately damages the credibility of the serious points that needed to be made. For better and more rational coverage check out King Corn made a year earlier. Avoid

Observe and Report (2009) - There was nothing redeemable in the 14 minutes I endured.  Avoid

(500) Days of Summer (2009) - Set the time-of-death for the hipster movement to the release date of this film. Two actors I have previously admired partake in sickeningly trite romcom that consists of little more than derivative vignettes which unfold in a superficially non-linear style. There are no genuine moments, no subtlety, just a calculated marketing brochure of a film. Avoid

Paul Blart: Mall Cop (2009) - A shopping mall is overtaken by a gang of organized crooks and ... why am I still writing? Kevin James wasn’t terrible, but the entire premise and delivery serve to illustrate how difficult it is to pull off good slapstick comedy in a modern setting. Avoid

Baby Mama (2008) - SNL regulars Tina Fey and Amy Poehler team up in a mediocre comedy about a businesswoman who dreams of having a baby but discovers she is infertile. It never shows any real depth and suffers greatly from its predictability. Avoid

The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas (2008) - Nice premise - a young boy (the son of a commandant at a concentration camp) creates a friendship with a Jewish boy in the camp. A touching story told through innocent eyes. The problem is it’s entirely implausible, overly sentimental, and highly exploitative. Not helped by the upper-class English accents that come off sounding terribly self-righteous. Even as a parable it does not work. Avoid

Speed Racer (2008) - The Wachowski Bros were given way too much rope with this skittles-induced-coma of a film adaptation of the classic Japanese anime series. It’s not visionary or experimental, just awful. Avoid

Lesbian Vampire Killers (2009) - I have an idea of how I would have made this a brilliant film - but it’s an idea that differs greatly from what was presented here. This is just a throw-away attempt at comedy that fails both in the ‘so bad it’s good’ category, and in its obvious attempt to be the next Shaun of the Dead. Avoid

Eragon (2006) - Family fantasy flicks don’t get much more derivative and dull than this. It just seemed to go on forever with nothing remotely original to offer. To be vey clear here - I only watched this on a dare as it was deemed the film I would most strongly dislike. Well chosen. Avoid

Don’t Come Calling (2005) - Wim Wenders, what has become of you? This from writer/director team that 20 years earlier brought us Paris, Texas? I couldn’t tolerate more than 20 minutes of the awkward acting and stilted screenplay. However, I did enjoy what I heard of the soundtrack, so perhaps Wenders hasn’t completely lost all talent. Avoid

Terminator Salvation (2009) - Christian Bale should have been calling the screenwriter the f***ing amateur. The rare combination of humour and terror that made prior episodes (even Rise of the Machines) such a hit is missing and the whole ridiculously contrived plot takes itself too seriously. Visually, the new look beached bleak landscape is a distraction and the characters all seem dull and superfluous against the onslaught of McG’s FX. Avoid

The Incredible Hulk (2008) - I give Ang Lee credit for trying something different with his greatly misunderstood 2003 Hulk remake - I give Marvel no such credit for this cliched, boring, uninspired, and completely unneccesary rehash. If you are going to make mindless, at the very least it should be fun. Avoid

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005) - The most nonsensical and boring of the series thus far. Things certainly have taken a creative dive since the previous Cuaron directed episode. This was the first time I haven't sat through the entirety of a film in a very long time. Avoid

Occupation 101: Voice of the Silenced Majority (2006) - I have been increasingly interested in the history and politics of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict since the recent escalation of activity. However, if you are looking for and unbiased account of the history of Israeli occupation of the West Bank and Gaza Strip then this is certainly not the place to start. This is a passive-aggressive hate piece targeting Israel and it's the kind of divisive propaganda that undermines the truth about both sides. Avoid

The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997) - The premise of this sequel never offered much hope of being compelling viewing. Four years on and the visual effects have improved significantly, but so too has the absurdity of the action sequences. The result is a bland film of repetitive nature in a franchise that has already run out of ideas. Avoid

Pearl Harbor (2001) - This is the worst kind of historical drama - images without substance. Patriotic insults to the rest of the world as seen through the eyes of two dense pilots. I would see this as well made entertainment if it weren't about one of the most sacred moments in world history. Oh Evelyn, the war really was such an inconvenience for you huh? Avoid

Hamlet 2 (2008) - An example of a film I watched purely because I wanted it to be good. Steve Coogan plays a failed actor turned high school drama teacher who tried to resolve the problems in his life by producing a sequel to Hamlet. It's a forgettable, unfunny and uneven attempt at satire. Avoid

Marley and Me (2008) - I'm looking on all levels for what this story about a family dog was trying to convey, or even what whether there was a story being told at all. There is an appallingly superficial account of sacrifices that white middle class people make in their lives. If you want a heart wrenching tale told through the life of an animal you would do far better watching Robert Bresson's 'Au hasard Balthazar'. Avoid

The Mummy Returns (2001) - Computer generated effects and action sequences that are among the most poorly executed I have seen in modern cinema. All matched with an inane and cliche ridden script that runs a whole two excruciating hours.  Avoid

Pineapple Express (2008) - Unfunny and formulaic slapstick comedy. The biggest disappointment here is Seth Rogen - it looked like he had somewhere more important to be the whole time. Avoid

Lions for Lambs (2007) - I would expect this condescending liberal propaganda from Robert Redford and Meryl Streep, but I've always thought Tom Cruise was above it. Avoid

Wet Hot American Summer (2001) - Forgettable summer camp film parody. I can't even remember why I watched this - however there are a few so-bad-it's-good moments, but otherwise a pointless exercise. Avoid

Righteous Kill (2008) - I thought I went in with sufficiently low enough expectations. We all know the score with De Niro & Pacino these days. This is just another by-the-numbers crime drama. Avoid

Chicago 10 (2007) - Believe me when I say I am not the target audience for this smug and arrogant retelling of the Hippie/Yippie epidemic and trial known as the Chicago 10. The unique visual style quickly became a chief distraction. Avoid

Southland Tales (2006) - I already don't particularly like the overlong, futuristic Sci-Fi genre - but if I didn't, this would be exhibit A. Richard Kelly gets points for experimentation - but this film should never have been released. Avoid

Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story (2007) - This is the worst film I have seen this year. I'm done with John C. Reilly in comedic roles.  Avoid

Semi Pro (2008) - Another unfunny comedy delivered with Will Ferrell in lead. There is nothing in the script, it's just another tedious underdog story. Avoid

Roger & Me (1989) - Michael Moore is not interested in an honest debate. How ignorant and rude can one person be. On the basis that in journalism omission is equal to a lie - Moore did film an interview with Roger Smith and left the footage out - I have no other recommendation than to avoid this film.  Avoid

Smart People (2008) - You know a film is in trouble when it uses music so heavily that the film becomes indistinguishable from a trailer. Here is a film that covers old ground on the dysfunctional family theme - it's meant to be an intelligent comedy drama but just feels tired and dreary. Avoid

Get Smart (2008) - Oddly, this series adaptation felt the need to change genres from its origins as a spy comedy to action adventure. This is ultimately a wasted opportunity to play off the clever satire and one liners that made the TV series great. Avoid

Domino (2005) - Tony Scott goes so far over the top in a style over substance action film that the result is almost incomprehensible. I'm not a Keira Knightley hater, but this was the most annoying narration I have ever heard in a film. Avoid

21 (2008) - This film is a complete mess. Supposedly a fact-based story about six MIT students who got rich off card counting. A documentary would have been far more engaging than this contrived offering. Avoid

Rush Hour 3 (2007) - I don't actually recall having seen the first two, but regardless this is just an average, altogether predictable and forgettable action film.  Avoid

Shrek the Third (2007) - Even from the start you could tell this was going to be a stale and lazy sequel. What a colossal failure to grasp the wealth of possibilities this material presents. Avoid

The Reaping (2007) - Every now and then I like to watch a movie that I know will be terrible, just to put my other viewing patterns in perspective. Double Oscar winner, Ms Swank, should be firing her agent over this fiasco. Avoid

The Notebook (2004) - No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. NO. NO. NO. NO! NO! NO! Avoid

Number 23 (2007) - No emotional impact and and script so transparent you see it 23 miles off. Typical random offering from Joel Schumacher. Avoid

Hannibal Rising (2007) - Without doubt this is the least interesting of the Silence of the Lambs sequels. I actually preferred to use my imagination about Lecter's past than to have this embarrassingly convoluted story clumsily adapted for screen. Avoid

The Yes Men (2003) - Anti-corporate activists travel around conferences impersonating members of the WTO. Not funny, and I just felt uncomfortable the whole time.  Avoid

Scenes of a Sexual Nature (2006) - UK film following couples walking around a park talking about relationships. I think this is a film for old people that need to feel they have sophisticated taste. Avoid

Blades of Glory (2007) - The worst attempt at comedy I have seen in a long time. Avoid

I Am a Sex Addict (2005) - Autobiographical comedy about an annoying, self obsessed, recovering sex addict whose story is genuinely tedious and uninteresting. Avoid

Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny (2006) - An exercise in taking two highly entertaining people, Jack Black and Kyle Gass, and churning out a barely watchable bore of a film.  Avoid

Gothika (2003) - Weak psychological ghost thriller that repeatedly insults you with cliches and over-acted absurdity. The continuing decline of Halle Berry since Monster's Ball. Avoid

The Black Dahlia (2006) - A poorly cast, ill-cut, mess of a noir film. Avoid

Reno 911!: Miami (2007) - I have largely enjoyed the series when i have managed to catch it, however this movie spin-off is a contender for the worst of the year. Avoid

BASEketball (1998) - Painfully difficult David Zucker comedy with Southpark's Parker and Stone in lead roles.  Avoid

Ghost Rider (2007) - In fairness to this Nicolas Cage led comic adapted action fantasy bomb - I really expected worse. Avoid

The Ringer (2005) - Juvenile and unfunny politically incorrect film about a man who rigs the Special Olympics to gain money for him and his uncle. Avoid

School for Scoundrels (2006) - Very lightweight comedy starring Jon Heder and Billy Bob Thornton. It merely passes the time with jokes and situation comedy that fails to amuse. Avoid

Rocky Balboa (2006) - It was all far too contrived for my liking. No doubt Stallone was was sincere with his intent, but this is a movie that did not need to be made. Avoid

Life or Something Like It (2002) - Even setting aside that I have a low tolerance for Angelina Jolie, this was not a great film. It's a cliche ridden chick-filck with few genuine moments of humour. Avoid

Music and Lyrics (2006) - Terrible, terrible, disposable romantic comedy. Avoid

Hostel (2005) - Backpackers in Eastern Europe find out they are part of a macabre game. Basically a low brow soft porn slasher flick. Avoid

The Cave (2005) - Formulaic macho junk film playing on Alien(s)/Abyss genre. Avoid

Just Married (2003) - Unbearable Askton Kutcher film about newlyweds whose marriage falls apart while on honeymoon. Avoid

Blood Diamond (2006) - Hollywood does a nice job trivialising the conflict diamond trade in South Africa. Great actors in a juvenile storyline. Avoid

You, Me and Dupree (2006) - The Russo brothers were once tagged to have a big future in film, but this unfunny comedy is a sign of decline. Avoid

The Beach (2000) - Hard to pinpoint where it all went wrong here. Below par acting across the board from an ill thought out cast, working to a script that is far too pretentious. None of it comes off. Avoid

Armageddon (1998) - There were moments early on when I thought this might be harmless fun and maybe even qualify as a "so bad it's good" flick. But by then end everything watchable gets sucked out the hatch thanks to FX overkill and an absurd premise. Avoid

The Fifth Element (1997) - I know there are a lot of people that love this film, but I found it to be poorly written and unintelligible garbage. I have no idea what Luc Besson was aiming at here. Is this a kids movie? Avoid

Mr and Mrs Smith (2005) - It's lucky for the Smith family that I saw The Da Vinci Code a couple of months ago, because here we have a strong candidate for the worst film I have seen this year. Avoid

The Million Dollar Hotel (2000) - A Wim Wenders film from a story by Bono. It's a little bit pretentious, which in the past has worked for Wenders, but it just struggles to keep the interest up. Avoid

Private Parts (1997) - I always thought Howard Stern was a pretty interesting guy. This auto-biographical story dispells that myth. Incredibly boring. And annoying. Avoid

The Da Vinci Code (2006) - I'm out of words for how badly made this film was - shame on all those involved. Real talent was wasted on this juvenile and laughable story. Avoid

Elizabethtown (2005) - Cameron Crowe's latest is a major let down after a run of making so many influential classics. Although very watchable, the film is just a jumbled mess in general. Start by cutting out Susan Sarandon. Avoid

Serenity (2005) - An incoherant mess of a film. I'm sure Joss Whedon fans went ga-ga but this just is not my thing.  Avoid

The Stepford Wives (2004) - I had one of those moments where I knew it was going to be a bomb but went ahead and watched it anyway. Tedious and boring. Avoid

The Sum Of All Fears (2002) - Tom Clancy novel based action flick with Ben Affleck stinking up the place. Actually might have been enjoyable if it weren't for the cheesy and ridiculous heroics at the end. Avoid

Orange County (2002) - Nonsensical Hollywood comedy/drama lemon.  Avoid

Hotel Rwanda (2004) - How bizarre that this film is currently #49 on the IMDB top 250 list. Either I was watching a different film or I am wrong and this isn't a boring, simplistic, and most of all - low quality TV grade bomb. I thought we were rating the films, not stories. Avoid

I, Robot (2004) - There are times that I wish I was 12 again so that I could enjoy movies like this. But I no more 12 than this is a good movie. Avoid

Reality Bites (1994) - Looking back at this mid-nineties Generation X drama I get an uncomfortable sense of cultural cringe. Avoid

Down With Love (2003) - 60's styled romantic comedy with Renee Zellweger and Ewan McGregor in the lead roles. It makes me cringe to recall how bad this film is.  Avoid

The Longest Yard (2005) - Just another Adam Sandler bomb. This time however, it is an unwatchable bomb. Avoid

Fun With Dick and Jane (2005) - Just not funny. Nothing made sense. Avoid

Être et avoir (To Be And To Have) (2002) - The most disappointingly dull documentary I have seen in a long time. Follows a teacher in a small rural school in France going about his daily routine. Nothing happens. Avoid

The Perfect Storm (2000) - Well rendered special effects do not make up for a bunch of overblown stereotypical characters you simply don't care for. All too boring. Avoid

The Day After Tomorrow (2004) - It was a close call in places, but Independence Day still holds number one in the "worst movie I have ever seen" category. Avoid

Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004) - Clearly all out of ideas and attempting to replace the cleverness of the first with a clumsy script that is dishonest with the characters. Avoid

Assault On Precinct 13 (2005) - I was surprised to discover this to be the worst action film I have seen in a long time. Completely unconvincing, absurd and ridiculous remake with overplayed stereotypes and a weak ending. Avoid

The Hebrew Hammer (2003) - OK, so the trailer looked kind of funny, but this was a weak attempt to make comedy out of the Jewish stereotypes. Avoid

Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (2005) - Not since 1996's Independence Day have I seen a sci-fi movie this bad. Completely misses the mark. Avoid

Around The World In Eighty Days (1956) - Very long and at times slow moving adaption of Jules Verne's classic adventure tale. Avoid

Chariots of Fire (1981) - Aimless, self important and frequently dull retelling of the British track stars performance at the 1924 Olympics -redeemed somewhat by some nice cinematography. Avoid

Elizabeth (1998) - Another over-cooked royal costume drama that left me unmoved and uninterested in their irrelevant lives. Avoid

911: The Road to Tyranny (2002) - Alex Jones, radical libertarian and black helicopter conspiracy theoriest, rants about the police state. He presents too many unfounded or manipulated facts to be credible. Avoid

Mrs. Miniver (1942) - Popular British wartime film that goes way too far preaching its sentimental propaganda. Avoid

The Life of David Gale (2003) - I had this one figured out before Spacey stuttered his first line. BTW: Setting someone up who refuses to adequately defend himself does nothing to prove the Texas death penalty system is flawed. Avoid

Sunday Bloody Sunday (1971) - The kind of excruciatingly dull relationship drama that could only be made in Britain during the 70's. John Schlesinger's disappointing follow up to the great Midnight Cowboy. Avoid

In Which We Serve (1942) - Mostly superficial English WWII propaganda film. Avoid

Gigi (1958) - Musical 'Best Picture' of 1958 about a rich playboy, bored with the high society life, who amuses himself with a young school girl. Disturbingly labelled as a romantic comedy. Avoid

Topsy Turvy (1999) - A well produced, but ultimately uninteresting look at the latter years of Gilbert and Sullivan's working relationship. Avoid

The Cruel Sea (1953) - Rigid and generally uninteresting telling of a British convoy escort ship during WWII. Avoid

Moulin Rouge! (2001) - The theatrical equivalent of having a cheese grater run up your spine.  Avoid

Young Frankenstein (1974) - Cringe. Do people still find this funny? Avoid

An American in Paris (1951) - This is exactly the reason I don't like musicals.  Avoid